shake it like a... uh... um... k, nevermind.

Nothing important to share. Had a wildly interesting day of people-watching and livin the old school life. Keaton had a family thing to go to. Most of the people at this thing (a 50th wedding anniversary) were relatives. I knew I should have brought my camera; there were ALL kinds there ranging from homely and slutty to beautiful and tasteful. They were all good natured. The guy who owned the place, a cousin of some sort, had hair like one of the guys in Foreigner circa 1984. (Yes, I remember that stuff. Keaton was actually dressing like that then. I preferred my Kangaroos and cut off shorts, and dancing to Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney, and David Bowie.)

Keaton's brothers were particularly interesting. I learned a little. Most of it scary. One of his brothers spouted, "The only thing The Passion Of the Christ was missing was nudity! It had the violence, blood and death, but where was the nudity!?"

I think there's something sac religious about that, but I'll leave it for others to judge. I'll just sit here and raise my eyebrow in a questioning way.

Innocence Mission sounds nice today. It's not too cold, not too hot, the sun is out, and the shadows from the trees are waving across my floor. I've uncovered my futon and cleaned it, and it feels like home again. The window are open, the house feels nice, I can feel the breeze and hear it in the trees. This is the escense of summer. And on my favoritest holiday in the whole wide world, too. I love summer. More than I love my pillow. More than I love puppies. Because puppies generally are obnoxious and that whole not house trained thing is gross. But golly, they're cute.

Truthfully, though, I'm feeling a little melancholy. Or perhaps it's just stress. Tomorrow I leave for Wichita to go to a Love and Logic conference. I look forward to it, but as of right now, I need some down time. I'm kind of dreading being around strangers 8 hours a day for 5 days straight. I'm kind of dreading being in an unfamiliar town and not knowing my way around, especially one as exotic and exciting like Wichita (yes, that's deep sarcasm). I'm dreading meeting a ton of people I have never known, hearing stories about people I don't know. It's kind of like looking at someone else's photo album. You understand what you're seeing, but the memories aren't yours to enjoy. You're just getting a general idea, and it's no where near as awesome as it is to the person who was there to take the picture. Maybe my expectations are just too high; it's not as if I can't appreciate the stories. I always do. But there's still that left-out feeling I get when I'm the one that can't share completely in the joy of the stories because I wasn't there to experience it. Ah, see? I'm only looking at the bad side of it.

But I think most of my anxiety is coming from the fact that I'm going to have to be "on" the entire time. Up and running, on guard, ready to present myself. Expending energy on that. People, I'm an introvert! I want to hide in a book store or a hotel room, sit on the floor, and read a book or write in my diary, or fucking blog for hours. (That's right, I swore. I'm almost in tears over this shit.) Not worrying about presenting myself well. Not holding anyone back because there are people he wants to see.

You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you. Keaton is going with me. He lived in Wichita for ten years, worked at McConnell. So there's the hotel room on base, but there's an issue with me not being a dependent, and that's that I am not allowed to go anywhere on that base by myself. Stress about not being able to be autonomous or independent. He wants to visit some of his friends, some of which are females with whom he has a romantic history. I see myself as a third wheel so I suggested that he leave me at a book store sometimes. Which bugged him, one because I'm not jealous, and two because he wants to hang out with me, too. But see the above two paragraphs regarding why that doesn't make me giddy. Do I want to meet his people? Yes. I just better make sure I get plenty of sleep or I'm going to break down at the drop of a hat.

I digress:
Paul Simon: Me and Julio Down By The School Yard.
My favorite part is the one where he says "WHOA-OH! In a couple of days they're gonna take me away..." It makes me smile. Mostly the WHOA-OH part. Princess sang that part in the middle of a conversation in the car when we were in high school. She can sometimes get under my skin, but I gotta love her sense of humor. She can be so hilarious.

Okay, I'm feeling a little better now that I worked all that out.

Tonight FIREWORKS!! I will have camera and I will be shooting shooting shooting! w00t!

So now will someone tell me why Paulie from Orange County Choppers was in my dream last night?