Westley and I met once before we met and hit it off.
I really need to keep a list of the people I name on here. I can't keep them all straight.
Julia and ...did I call him popo? they were engaged to be married. And I guess at one point they thought of their friends nic and Westley. And they talked to each other about us and decided we'd be quite compatible.
Then came the day that we all got together. There was Julia, her boy genius (he's 5 months older than the short and probably into Trig now), popo, the short, me, and Westley showed up.
My impression of Westley: cute. Witty. Nice guy. And completely not interested in me.
His impression of me? Cute. Could tell I was interested in him (I complimented him on his truck and asked him if it was a hemi). He, however, was not interested in me.
He was hung over and had stayed up all night the night before partying in Detroit with his friend's band. (I have not known him to be hung over since.) The quasi double date was over and we went our separate ways. I pretty much forgot about him.
Few months later, we met again at Julia and popo's engagement party. Why am I telling you this when I already told you about it here?
Hanging out with Westley always was funny. We make jokes that the other one can understand, and we just seem to have the same thought patterns. It's strange.
For example:
One day we were sitting on the couch together. I was thinking about the future,so I started to muse about the kind of house we would need, a four bedroom... but I cut myself off out of the fear of sounding like a psycho: "You know, we're going to need a--"
And he said, "what, a 4 bedroom house?"
Uncanny.
Other instances:
He emails me a poem at my home address. I didn't know it. I got to school and heard a song over my ipod: Tristen Prettyman's version of All I Want Is You: So I emailed it to him. It goes like this:
If I were a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I were a tree growing tall and green
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves
All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.
If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
As long as you were with me, let the cold wind blow
If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug
If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float
And when I got home later that day, this was the email he sent before I sent those lyrics:
If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.One day we were throwing out random insanity about keeping our children safe, all in jest We said we should hide certain things, send them away... Then we both said, "We can send them to Switzerland.."
The other day we were driving after having been at church. In the bulletin there was a non-partisan flyer about where McCain and Obama stood on issues like abortion, same sex marriage, etc. These are things that I don't have any particular feelings about. I'll just side step my high horse right now, because I can go off.. but I'm not going to. Anyway, we drove past the democratic headquarters in Kalamazoo and I thought, "that was so slanted in McCain's favor, it wasn't even cool." But Westley said, "The flyer said it was non-partisan, but it totally wasn't..."
How does he know what I'm thinking?
And then we broke up... you can read about that here.
But we were friends. Great friends. We hung out and we joked still, we just didn't do mushy things, but that was okay. I still just loved getting together with him, because being around him has always been easy.
And then we couldn't be friends at the request of a certain person who was important in my life for a while.
That whole thing... See, I didn't understand that I couldn't get over Westley that quickly. I think Keaton came to understand that, too. Things fell apart between us from there. But I can't say I didn't try like hell to get over Westley on the fly. Keaton and I got to learn the hard way that our relationship wasn't going to happen. I failed. And therefore we failed.
I don't think you can really get over some people. Have you ever seen the movie Evening? It's about a girl who meets her affinity. But for reasons beyond their control, they went their separate ways, but never got over each other. (the book was a little different; I didn't like it as well.) If you're a chick, I recommend it. I sobbed through pretty much the entire thing. I saw it near the end of the relationship with Keaton, which sent me spinning off, wondering if I'll always wonder if Westley would be the one I'd always miss...
But once that relationship was over, I called Westley just so I could return his stuff. I wanted all remnants of other men out of my life. For a long time. Well, I called partly for that reason, and to see if he hated me and/or if we could be friends again. I did really want his stuff gone, though.
wait a minute. We've been over ALL of this before. Why am I telling you this again? Let me think of something new..... hmm....
Time and again, he's come through. When I expect him to get pissed off at me about Keaton baggage (that was a very messy breakup and it continues to bother me that I hurt him, but not as much as it bothers Keaton, I suspect), he listens and offers me his honest opinion. For example, I feel guilty for being the cause of so much pain. Westley says, "Nic, you can't blame yourself for removing yourself from an unhealthy situation." And he's right. And oddly enough, sometimes when I'm being unfair about the breakup, he gets after me as well. "Wait, You can't blame him for that." and he explains the reasons why. And he's right. And I'm wrong. But it's all okay. See, I'm not used to someone being open to the crap I have to work through. In my past, boyfriends always get pissed off whenever I admitted that I had to expend some energy to work on getting over someone else. As if no one else was supposed to ever exist. Westley understands it's something I have to do in order to move forward, so he helps me work through it. "I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't," he says.
But I try to be good to him about stuff like that, too. Sometimes he still gets edgy about his ex-wife and I have noticed that I can be as negative about weird things there. But I realized this helps no one, so I apologized for instigating and/or feeding the fire and I have tried not to do it since. He doesn't need to build up anger like that. And if he feels he needs to, he doesn't need my help. I refuse.
I refuse to be anything but ecstatic about Westley. They say you always know when you meet your affinity, and quite possibly, your destiny. I met him. And I'm wearing his ring!
picture taken from http://www.gabrielny.comTo be continued....
2 other thoughts:
i don't know how i feel about you marrying a man who writes poetry. you know my feelings on poetry.
but that is one hell of a rock.
...I don't know your feelings on poetry. I assume it isn't your favorite?
It wasn't profound poetry at least; it was merely cutesy.
But he is a writer, which I have to appreciate. Being someone who enjoys the writing, that is.
And thank you! It's not huge like some I've seen, but it's pretty and sparkly. Therefore I love it.
I didn't notice the clippy things that held in the center diamond were heart shaped until a few days after I got it. I was offended at first, but then I remember that at the end of every diary entry, I usually draw a little heart.
I guess even though I hate cheezy stuff like hearts, I can't deny that I, too, am quite cheezy.
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