holy sh!t!!

And you know, I rarely use more than one exclamation point. So this must be critical.

Well, out of the oven and into the fire.

THEY PUT ME BACK IN THE MEDIA CENTER!!!!

I GET TO BE A BOOKMARM AGAIN!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M YELLING LIKE AN OBNOXIOUS PERSON!

Weee!

Granted, well, it was a choose it or lose it kind of deal. They said they wanted a full time media specialist at the middle school. And since I was the one removed from the position at the end of '06-07, that gave me dibs, so I took it. Which means I leave behind the two principals I worked for (they kick @ss!), all the kids who like to hug me (including the short; he was in one of my classes), and whom I love to teach and/or make laugh, and the curriculum I was working hard to develop. And that makes me want to cry. As a matter of fact, I did cry; I felt like I was betraying them. The superintendent got me a box of kleenex. (I thought he was the kid of guy who would be disgusted by such a display, but he smiled about it.)

The short bawled when I told him I wasn't going to see him in the building anymore. I think he was more upset that he was going to have to go to daycare every day after school since I am going to be getting out of work after he is. The daycare he has to go to is wayyyy out by the school I used to work at (one is in the boondocks and the other is in town). But frankly, none of the busses go back into town. So I can't exactly hook him up with the daycare he went to.

And the teachers have one week and one day to get used to the idea that I chose the middle school over them. But they also know I came from the middle school. The teacher/media specialist taking my place is not like me. I mean, she's down to earth and not fluffy and cutesy, but I don't think she's as interested as I am in using shock value to teach. Nor, do I think, is she interested in doing way-out-there things. She tends to be a fairly high-stress person. I'm not; I'm still unjaded (read: stupid) enough to do insane things to make kids laugh and/or think while I'm teaching them. I don't feel like I have to have absolute control. I mean, my classes are under control, but I let the kids have some control over what they're doing, at least at some point in the activity we're doing. I was working on getting the 5th graders email accounts, the second graders were working on Excel (scary: they know just as much as I do about the program!), first grade is writing in Word, third grade is making movies using a small digital video camera, fourth grade is finishing up a typing unit, kindergarten is drawing things in Tux Paint and learning to use different tools in the program, and fifth grade is doing power points. I can say everyone is learning and having some fun to some degree. My passion for whatever I teach is obvious and the kids notice. So I wonder how things are going to look when I'm gone.

I'm not looking forward to teachers even jokingly saying, "How could you leave us?!" And bet I'll cry more. It had to be a split second choice. It didn't mean it was easy. It doesn't mean that I'm leaving without remorse.

Yes, I did made the choice to leave. I'd make the same choice again. I hope I won't be sorry. I hope the kids will still get the skills they need to have before they see me again.

But looking forward, I get to go back to the middle school media center. I got the teachers' hopes up while I was there. I provided all kinds of services when I was there that my predicessor did not, I put up diplays and bulletin boards that got noticed. One said, "You are not allowed to read these books!" and I put up pictures of every banned book that I could find. Then inside the library, I had every one of those books on display. Parents called the principal. It was AWESOME. I had another one up where kids had to guess the baby picture of the teacher only using the teacher's favorite book as a clue. Everyone got a kick out of that. I had a book drive that brought in over 800 books (many of which were redonated; they couldn't be kept) and brought in over $5,000. I was going to get ipods in the library so kids could listen to audio books. I gave up when I told I was being let go. I taught a lesson on the internet where I compared a book (which is organized) to the internet (which is not). I tore pages out of the book and threw them around. The vice-principal was in observing me that day. He about wet himself. (The book, I had to tell him, was going to be discarded anyway; it was a tennis book from 1974-- it hadn't been checked out since '89.)

So there are great things I can do in the middle school, too. As I was leaving the meeting, I got started on another crying jag. The curriculum director and my new principal were walking behind me and said, hey, that's all right; it just means that you are passionate about your job.

That's true.