I must blog Right. F*ing. Now.

You know....

*sigh*

Just a sec.

Sorry. I had to clean my monitor. I was entirely unacceptable.

You remember high school English? Here's a refresher on a term that everyone uses, but many have forgotten how to use properly:

Irony is a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.
The New Oxford English Dictionary

Today I believe I actually did experience some slight irony. Not full on, but definitely somewhat ironic.

First, I got my pink slip. Sorry, monetary constraints, declining enrollment, etc. Signed by the interim superintendent. Next, I found my congratulatory letter regarding my recent tenure. Also signed by said superintendent.

All this on April Fools day. Can it get any more perfect?

No, I haven't cried yet. And I'm not sure I will. I'm too excited about the opportunity that's sitting in front of me. Exactly what that opportunity is and how it's going to pay my bills, I don't know. Although the local community college just posted a library position. Sounds cool. But I don't have the right degree. I'll apply, but I don't think I'll get it. Not even sure I want it.

I know, I'm calm in the midst of chaos because I don't understand how much trouble I'm in. Whatever will I do? My credit score might end up in the crapper and then the world will cease to exist. Everything will come to a sputtering halt and I will be zapped into some strange, horrid, concentric circle of hell where I'm tempted by everything, think I can buy it, and then realize the nightmare of actually being entirely unable to afford it.

I'm a dreamer. What I'm thinking is that with a bunch of people getting laid off, why can't we pool our talents and do something awesome? Or maybe there's something weird out there for me that would allow me to work outside the box, would let me use my talents and still help people.

To be entirely honest, I don't like teaching in a classroom. To me it's about as natural as ballet dancing barefoot on an unpaved road. ...that's not meant to suggest that kids are the inherently evil or anything like that. I love kids; especially the ones every other teacher "hates." I can get along with any kid-- middle school, early el, sweet, mean, emo or otherwise. But 32 kids all at once? I think I'd rather sing in front of a half-full auditorium. Sans clothing.

But what I hate most is the whole discipline aspect-- it's utterly disconcerting. Someone on my little school library listserv that a lot of teachers were always good kids and don't know how to think like the "bad" kids. I am one of those always-was-a-nice-kid people. My students do something "bad" and often I am taken aback by it. Sometimes I'm stunned beyond words. What good teacher has that problem?!

Overall, though, I'm not a BAD teacher. I can explain information well. I come up with creative lessons that are engaging and hands on. Hell, I do the crazy technology sh*t that scares the hell out of some of the other teachers in my building. I relate to kids really well. I genuinely want to see them succeed. I just feel better in a one on one or small group context. Well, these days of budget cuts in public education, it's not going to happen. Not in any public school context, anyway.

I'm going to forget myself in a Jared Leto movie.

I'm going to find out what Highway is all about.

Guys don't get any hotter than Jared Leto when he weighed something.

Ahh... Netflix streaming thru the Wii on the big screen...

God Bless America!